Unicorns Are Not Real & Other Obvious Phenomena
On October 19, 2007 at Carnegie Hall in NYC, J.K Rowling publicly announced that Albus Dumbledore is gay. She claims this move was to help promote gay tolerance, which is obviously her only intention. This is clear when Dumbledore, the only gay character in the book DIES, proving once and for all that God hates fags. Incidentally, she only confirmed this in response to newsgroup discussions that had been about this very topic for some time beforehand, proving that there’s nothing she’d change about her characters at the drop of a hat to keep herself in the spotlight.
Of course, if Rowling really wanted to promote tolerance, it would have made better sense to include an openly gay Hogwarts student who struggles with coming out, bullying, finding a partner to buttsecks, being assraped by a broomstick for his sexuality, etc., eventually becoming an hero in the end. However, seeing as that would have actually been edgy, required some editorial balls, and turned off about 99% of Rowling’s cash-generating Americunt audience, such a move was never even considered. The only gay character in the series was announced after the fact, as an afterthought. Ironically, in spite of her stated opposition to bigotry and promotion of tolerance, JK Rowling has said in numerous interviews that she fought hard to keep any and all American actors out of the films. That’s her thanks, I guess, for the billions of jewgold Americans have spent on her works.
Who Dies In Part 2 Of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows
This is based upon the people who have died in the book from the point the film adaptation ends. Therefore this list is subject to change depending on how similar the film adaptation will be.
- Fred Weasley is killed by a falling wall. The wall may have fallen because of Augustus Rockwood’s spell.
- Vincent Crabbe set a fire deadly fire and was unable to escape or stop it. Due to the actor being charged with possession of drugs, in the film Gregory Goyle will take this place instead.
- Remus Lupin is killed by Antonin Dolohov.
- Nymphadora Tonks was killed by her cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange
- Colin Creevey
- Severus Snape was killed by Nagini, Voldemort’s snake.
- Bellatrix Lestrange was killed by Molly Weasley
- Lord Voldemort was killed by his own rebounding spell.
- 50 others
In the Deathly Hallows part 2 the characters that died were:
Bellatrix Lestrange is killed by Molly Weasley
Voldermort is killed by Harry Potter
Dobby is killed by Bellatrix Lestrange
Albus Dumbledore is killed by Severus Snape
Severus Snape is killed by Nagini
Nagini was killed by Neville Longbottom
Hedwig was killed by a Death Eater
Mad Eye Moody is killed by Voldermort
Fred Weasley died during the battle at Hogwarts
Rufus Scrimgeour Killed by Voldermort – not telling him where harry is
Gelert Grindelwald killed by Voldermort – not telling him where harry is
Peter Pettigrew killed by his own magical prosthetic hand
Vincent Crabbe died by accident
Remis Lupin is killed by Antonin Dolohov
Harry Potter: The Complete Obituaries
Courtesy of Scholastic
From our worldwide correspondents, we bring you Harry Potter Fauxbits in Brief, a complete compendium of the last years death reports on the Wizarding News Wire. Who died in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows? Good or evil, human, animal, or elf: Weve got em all, after the jump.
Um, spoilers, obviously.
Hedwig Potter, a snowy owl approximately ten years in age, was killed in July 1997 by an Avada Kedavra curse that narrowly missed her owner, Harry Potter, while he was escaping from his childhood home. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Hogwarts Owl Liberation Society.
Alastor Mad-Eye Moody, former Auror, professor at Hogwarts, and member of the Order of the Phoenix, was killed by Voldemort in July 1997 while attempting to aid Harry Potter in his escape from his childhood home. Moody, thanks to whom it was said that half the Death Eaters in Azkaban were imprisoned, sacrificed much in the battle against evil, including a leg, an eye, a chunk of his nose, and eventually his life. His magical eye was buried in the forest after some time spent as a peephole in Dolores Umbridges office.
Rufus Scrimgeour, Minister of Magic, was killed on August 1, 1997, in the uprising that led to Death Eaters taking over the Ministry of Magic. Though tortured, he did not give up Harry Potters whereabouts, despite Potter being an irritating prat who never lifted a finger to help the Ministry.
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Flashback To October 1981
Towards the end of the Second Wizarding War in 1980, seer Sybill Trewlaney and Albus Dumbledore met at the Hogs Head for an interview. Trewlaney applied for the position of the Divination professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but Dumbledore was disappointed by the interview and was about to reject her application. However, as he was about to leave, Trewlaney entered a trance and provided him with a real prophecy:
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives
She predicted that a boy that had the power to defeat Voldemort was born towards the end of July 1980 to parents who have defied Voldemort in three occasions. This boy would have a power Voldemort could not understand or ever have for himself. And if more than one person fulfilled these requirements, Voldemorts decision on who it was would ultimately determine who this Chosen One is. Voldemort chose Harry because both of them were half-blood while Neville was a pureblood.
Ginny Is A Slut Zomg1
Ironically, all female characters of the Harry Potter series are, indeed, sluts. Everyone knows Harry Potter is one big hormone-drivenfanfic. Even Albus Dumbledore, the one wizard who Voldemortfears, has been known to join the fun.
Still, a great many mousy spinsters and 16-year-old girls spend their time dreaming up romantic stories about who in the Harry Potter universe is fucking who. Prior to the release of the 7th book, a central division between these literary scholars concerned itself with whom Harry Potter would end up fucking. One group believed that Harry Potter would end up fucking Hermione. The other group believed that Harry Potter would end up fucking Ginny. But there’s always a chance for some group action.
Since the people who believed that Harry Potter would end up fucking Ginny have actual in-text justifications for their belief, they were unsurprisingly proven correct in the final book. The “Harmonians” perceived this as a personal insult.
The insult was compounded by an interview given by J.K. Rowling to a Harry Potter fan site in which she kinda-subtly-but-not-really delivered a virtual clue-by-four to the heads of the people who really, honestly thought that Harry would end up fucking Hermione.
- I felt that Song of Songs mirrored Harry/Hermione because it had a theme of friends becoming lovers.
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Ranked: Every Major Death In Harry Potter
While Harry Potter is typically thought of as a children’s series, there were many emotional deaths & dark moments, so we decided to rank them all!
J.K. Rowling has blessed us with a magical set of characters in Harry Potter that we have grown to love and cherish dearly over time. We feel as though we have grown up with these characters which made it all the more difficult when they were taken away from us. Most of the people at Hogwarts serve as a tremendous influence in our daily lives and despite the fact that these characters are fictional, it doesn’t make the impact they have on our lives any less real.
When these beloved characters in the Potter world were killed off, it messed a lot of us up, yet as Sirius points out in Prisoner of Azkaban, the ones that love us never really leave us and you can always find them if you look inside your heart.
The fact that Harry Potter does feature so many deaths is a bit surprising, but it does lend to its popularity. While it might be a grim way to look at things, the fact is that without the deaths there are no stakes, and the movies made sure that fans were emotionally invested by killing certain characters off.
It obviously led to some massively emotional scenes, but that only further proved the point as to how important the characters were to people. So without further ado, let’s take a look at the most difficult deaths in Harry Potter, Ranked.
The True Hero Of This Film Is
The flying Ford Anglia. Seriously, that car was there whenever Harry and Ron needed it. It helped them get to Hogwarts and it saved them from the army of spiders. If that Ford Anglia had not shown up just in the nick of time, Harry and Ron wouldve died and never been able to open the Chamber of Secrets.
Unfortunately, thats the last well ever see of the car. I think it couldve defeated Voldemort, honestly.
Harry Potter should not have been able to defeat Voldemort, though. He should have died at least 34 times in just this movie. Harry could have been eaten by a multitude of monsters. However, the Boy Who Lived is not allowed to die.
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Appearances In Other Material
In Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, it is revealed that Bellatrix gave birth to Voldemort’s daughter Delphi in Malfoy Manor before the Battle of Hogwarts. Twenty-two years later, Delphi poses as Cedric’s cousin and manipulates Harry and Ginny’s second son Albus Severus Potter and his friend, Draco and Astoria Greengrass‘s son Scorpius Malfoy, into stealing a prototype Time Turner with which she hopes to resurrect her father. Using the Time Turner, Scorpius accidentally creates an alternative timeline where Voldemort killed Harry at the battle and now rules the wizarding world. In an attempt to achieve this future, Delphi travels to Godric’s Hollow on the night Voldemort killed Harry’s parents, hoping to avert the prophecy that led to her father’s downfall. After receiving a message from his son, Harry, together with Ron, Hermione and Draco transfigures himself into Voldemort so that he can distract Delphi, allowing them to overpower her. The real Voldemort kills Harry’s parents as prophesied, and Delphi is sent to Azkaban.
Did Harry Potter Really Die In Deathly Hallows
Technically, this isnt really an answer anyone can answer with a yes or no. He was hit with a Killing Curse that sent him to limbo, but it wasnt Harry himself that died. To understand this answer properly, we have to go back and explain why and how Harry was turned into a Horcrux which required him to die by Voldemorts hand.
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A Very Potter Musical
As if Harry Potter weren’t gay enough, some college faggots in Michigan decided in 2009 to make a musical and post it on JewTube. Entitled “A Very Potter Musical”. This clusterfuck is too long, don’t watch but clearly took time and energy to write, produce and stage .
The entire cast is made up of Americunt mid-west gays the entire script and score feature retarded lyrics and unfunny poop/sex jokes the staging and choreography comprise of teenagers rolling around the stage like they have ADHD all in all, this monstrosity of a production is strictly for fat HP-fantards, and was written by and for Americunt 12-year-old boys and 16-year-old girls.
…Hence, “A Very Potter Musical” was a huge hit on the Interwebz, with over 9,000 views. A month after its grand debut on YouTube, the idiots who posted it removed it in order to “edit more mature elements from the videos.” Youtube now features a children-friendly version. Yeah, ok.
Magical Abilities And Skills
Rowling establishes Voldemort throughout the series as an extremely powerful, intelligent, and ruthless dark wizard, described as the greatest and most powerful Dark Wizard of all time. He is known as one of the greatest Legilimens in the world and a highly accomplished Occlumens he can read minds and shield his own from penetration. Besides Dumbledore, he is also the only wizard ever known to be able to apparate silently. Voldemort was also said to fear one wizard alone, Dumbledore.
On her website, Rowling wrote that Voldemort’s wand is made of yew, whose sap is poisonous and which symbolises death. It forms a deliberate contrast to Harry’s wand, which is made of holly, which she chose because holly is alleged to repel evil.
Rowling establishes in the books that Voldemort is magically connected to Harry via Harry’s forehead scar. He disembodies himself when his Killing Curse targeting Harry rebounds on him, leaving the scar on Harry’s forehead. In the books, and to a lesser extent in the films, Harry’s scar serves as an indicator of Voldemort’s presence: it burns when the Dark Lord is near or when Voldemort is feeling murderous or exultant. According to Rowling, by attacking Harry when he was a baby Voldemort gave him “tools no other wizard possessedthe scar and the ability it conferred, a magical window into Voldemort’s mind”.
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Harry Potter And Chamber Of Secrets
Harry returns to Hogwarts, and there’s a bunch of drama about people being attacked. This novel introduces a giant, poisonous snake that can kill people by looking at them. The snake tries to pull a genocide by ridding the school of “Mudbloods”, but fails to kill a single fucking person.
There is also a sadistic tree with limbs that look like disproportional cocks, which fails to kill both Harry and Ron. Later, it tries to kill Harry, but is somehow defeated by the visually impaired twelve-year-old .
Anyway, in CoS, Voldemort pretends to be a book to lure Ron’s little sister into his basement. Unfortunately, Harry again lives and the story continues. On the badass side, he kills a giant fucking snake. With a sword. Magically pulled out of a singing hat. This book made so little sense that they had to release a supplement in 2005, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
Harry Didnt Really Die
After the Killing Curse hit him, Harry asks Dumbledore if hes dead, and Dumbledore says no.
Then Im dead too?
Ah, said Dumbledore, smiling still more broadly. That is the question, isnt it? On the whole, dear boy, I think not.
They looked at each other, the old man still beaming.
Not? repeated Harry.
Not, said Dumbledore. – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 35
The reason for this, Dumbledore goes on to explain, is that the Dark Lord taking his blood tethered him to life while the Dark Lord lived, since Lilys protection was then inside them both.
He took your blood believing it would strengthen him. He took into his body a tiny part of the enchantment your mother laid upon you when she died for you. His body keeps her sacrifice alive, and while that enchantment survives, so do you and so does Voldemorts one last hope for himself. – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 35
Harrys blood in the Dark Lord tied him to life, so he didnt truly die. He was further helped by being the true master of the Elder Wand. It didnt want to kill its master, so the Killing Curse it cast against him wasnt as powerful as it could have been. It had nothing to do with the Resurrection Stone – that only brings back the shadows of people who are already dead, it doesnt prevent death.
New York Trolled By New York Times
The New York Times reviewed the book, revealing spoilers for everyone reading the article . The spoilers even pissed off J.K. Rowling! — But they probably just did it for the lulz, so it’s okay.
The truth is that she was on welfare while writing the first book, aka “working”, making her a welfare cheat.
Harry Potter And The Gremlin That Tried To Kill Him
- Once again, the Dursleys were so abusive to Harry that he could have died.
- I feel like Harry has so much anger in him that he would have done some sort of magic to accidentally kill someone or himself by now.
- Dobby would have just straight-up murdered Harry on accident to prevent him from going to Hogwarts.
- Dobby, in his insanity, knocks over Harrys dresser and crushes Harry beneath it.
- While dangling from the flying car, Harry doesnt have enough upper body strength to pull himself back in and falls to his death. I mean, there is no gym class at Hogwarts. Harry Potter dies because he cant do a push-up.
- When Mr. Dursley is trying to prevent Harry from escaping, he would have pulled Harry out of the car but accidentally slammed him against the side of the house like a ragdoll.
- Harry is unable to speak English and thus the Floo Powder transports him to Knockturn Alley where hoodlums immediately mug and kill him for fun.
- Hagrid kills Harry because he knows too much.
- Lucius Malfoy immediately murders Harry upon meeting him because Harry is so insolent.
- Platform 9 3/4 closes itself so Harry runs into the pillar and contracts brain damage. He later dies after weeks spent in a coma.
- The British military sees the flying Ford Anglia and shoots it down thinking its a nuclear missile.
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