Funny Draco Malfoy Quotes That Made Us Let Out A Hearty Chuckle
Draco Malfoys got jokes! Below are some of Malfoys finest lines from the films that prove he could have had a career in stand-up:
Oh, look, Potter, you got yourself a girlfriend!Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Training for the ballet, Potter?Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Why are you wearing glasses? Reading? I didnt know you could read.Harry Potter and the Chamber of SecretsBONUS: Watch Tom Feltons lip sync to this line on his TikTok!
Youre gonna regret this! You and your bloody chicken!Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Lupin: Very good. A little louder please, and very clearly. Rid-di-kulus.Class: Riddikulus!Malfoy: This class is ridiculous.Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Weasley, you werent thinking of wearing these, were you? I mean, they were very fashionable in about 1890.Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Whatd I tell you? Complete nutter.Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Ok, ok! I was gate crashing. Happy?Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Additional Draco Malfoy Zingers From The Harry Potter Books
We all know that Malfoy dished out some really juicy lines in the books . Heres a compilation of Malfoys best zingers from the books!
Then Im going to drag them off to look at racing brooms, I dont see why the first years cant have their own. I think Ill bully father into getting me one and Ill smuggle it in somehow.Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Father says its a crime if Im not picked to play for my house, and I must say, I agree.Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
I heard hes a sort of savage lives in a hut in the school grounds and every now and then he gets drunk, tries to do magic and ends up setting fire to his bed.Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
But we dont feel like leaving, do we, boys? Weve eaten all our food, and you still seem to have some.Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Imagine being in Hufflepuff. I think Id leave. Wouldnt you?Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Id be careful if I were you, Potter. Unless youre a bit politer, youll go the same way as your parents. They didnt know what was good for them, either. You hang around with riffraff like the Weasleys and that Hagrid, and itll rub off on you.Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Everyone queue up! Malfoy roared to the crowd. Harry Potters giving out signed photos!’Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Have you ever seen anything quite as pathetic? And hes supposed to be our teacher!Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Chosen One Of The Day: A Very Potter Musical’s Draco Malfoy
Darren Criss is easily the most famous person to have taken part in the Harry Potter fandoms absolute favorite live-action, unofficial version of our favorite series: A Very Potter Musical. But, despite playing the titular hero, and being the most celebrity, Criss isnt my favorite.
No, that designation goes to none other than Lauren Lopez, who took on the role of Draco Malfoy and changed us all forever.
Let me set the scene: Crabbe and Goyle are viciously attacking Neville Longbottom. Hermione handles that sh*t, and says Lets leave these big and childish jerks alone. And Harry says, Yeah. In American accents.
Off-screen, a voice with a British lilt booms out, Did someone say Draco Malfoy? and Lopez slinks onto the stage. She pauses for a second, her wig is bright blonde and Beatles-esque, she rubs her robes where the lapels would be, lapping up the audiences applause. Then she loops a circle around the golden trio , espousing that Potter could hang with her, a higher caliber of wizard before doing a turn-and-pose that any of Americas Next Top Models would envy.
A Very Potter Musicals Draco Malfoy is everything we wanted actual Draco Malfoy to be. Hes absurd, petty, he inexplicably rolls around like a cat, and he hates Hogwarts. Luckily for Malfoy, next year hes leaving Hogwarts for Pigfarts, its on the moon, and run by a lion named Rumbleroar… who can talk.
Read Also: Which Harry Potter House Am I Pottermore
Did Someone Say Draco Malfoy
26 aprile 2011 di Agnese
BEST DRACO MALFOYS MOMENTS in A VERY POTTER SEQUEL:
You must be Harry Potter, the Famous Bastard. My name is Draco Malfoy, I am a racist, I despise Gingers, and Mudbloods. I hate Gryffindor house, and my parents work for the man who killed your parents. Do you want to be my friend?
Harry:No way! You can torture my friends all you want, but I will never, and I mean ever, be your friend!Draco:Youve made a grandious mistake, Potter. No one undermines Draco Malfoy!Dumbledore: Oh, Malfoy, little shit!
You know Goyle, using the potty is not so bad. I dont know why I was afraid it of it all those years. I think I was concerned about falling in but I have found that if I climb on top of the potty and I put one foot on either side of the potty hole ring, Im actually quite safe. And you know, using the potty is a great time to socialize. You simply look over to the stall next to you and you say have a right chat with your neighbor. Oh hello there, good Sir. First time using the potty too eh? Good luck, my man! And then simple squat, like so, and I do my business in my diaper as usual. Then I undo the side latches and let the diaper simply fall into the potty. Yes! Father will hear of this.
Hold on to me, friends! Alright, everyone! I hope youre wearing your diaperscause youre gonna shit your pants!
What About The Did Someone Say Draco Malfoy Quote
Last but certainly not least, if youre wondering about the DID SOMEONE SAY DRACO MALFOY? line thats being used constantly in TikTok audio, that particular Draco quote cant be found in any Harry Potter book or movie
Thats because this line comes from the hilarious A Very Potter Musical, which you can watch in its entirety on YouTube here.
Don’t Miss: Who Plays Lord Voldemort In Harry Potter
The Most Malicious Malfoy Quotes
As much as we love Tom, his character in the Harry Potters films was a pretty horrid bully no matter how good he looked in a suit. Heres a roundup of the most malicious Draco Malfoy quotes from the films:
Think my names funny, do you? No need to ask yours. Red hair and a hand-me-down robe. You must be a Weasley.Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Youll soon find out that some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. You dont wanna go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there.Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Did you see his face? Maybe if the fat lump had given this a squeeze, hed have remembered to fall on his fat ass.Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Bet you loved that, didnt you Potter. Famous Harry Potter cant even go into a bookshop without making the front page.Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood.Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
You see, Weasley, unlike some, my father can afford the best.Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Father always said that Dumbledore was the worst thing that ever happened to this place.Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
The last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened, a mudblood died. So its only a matter of time before one of them is killed this time. As for me, I hope its Granger.Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Draco Malfoy Quotes From Harry Potter And The Cursed Child
Malfoy also had a large role in The Cursed Child, and his character arc is thankfully explained a bit better as well. Here are our fave Malfoy lines from Harry Potter and the Cursed Child!
Most of the time, I think you have to make a choice at a certain point of the man you want to be. And I will tell you at that time, you need a parent or a friend. And if youve learnt to hate your parent by then and you have no friends then youre all alone. And being alone thats so hard.
Hermione Granger, Im being bossed around by Hermione Granger. And Im mildly enjoying it.
Malfoy: Flipendo! Keep up, old man.Harry: Were the same age, Draco.Malfoy: I wear it better.
I dont care what you did or who you saved, you are a constant curse on my family, Harry Potter.
We can hug, too, if you like
It is exceptionally lonely, being Draco Malfoy. I will always be suspected. There is no escaping the past. I never realized, though, that by hiding him away from this gossiping, judgmental world, I ensured that my son would emerge shrouded in worse suspicion than I ever endured.
And being alone thats so hard. I was alone. And it sent me to a truly dark place. For a long time, Tom Riddle was a lonely child. You may not understand, Harry, but I do
You the three of you you shone, you know? You liked each other. You had fun. I envied those friendships more than anything else.
We havent become anything we simply are as we are.
You May Like: Who Played Voldemort In Harry Potter Movies
Best Draco Malfoy Burns From The Harry Potter Books
In Latin, Draco means dragon, which is fitting for most of the verbal fireballs he spits out. Sadly, not all his best burns made it into the movies, so here are some of Draco Malfoys best savage moments from the Harry Potter books:
Did you see his face, the great lump?Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
My father told me all the Weasleys have red hair, freckles, and more children than they can afford.Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Longbottom, if brains were gold, youd be poorer than a Weasley, and thats saying something.Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
What would you know about it, Weasley, you couldnt afford the handle. I suppose you and your brothers have to save up, twig by twig.Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Are you trying to earn some extra money, Weasley? Hoping to be gamekeeper yourself when you leave Hogwarts, I suppose that hut of Hagrids must seem like a palace compared to what your familys used to.Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
I do feel sorry for all those people who have to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas because theyre not wanted at home.Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Weasley would like a signed photo, Potter. Itd be worth more than his familys whole house.Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
All right there, Scarhead?Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Shame it doesnt come with a parachute in case you get too near a dementor.Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Get Notified When Your Favorite Stories Are Updated
If you already have an account, Log in.
- 69.9K 77Completed Mature
- 297K 34
Draco gave a cocky grin. “I am going to give you a makeover.” “I’m sorry what?” “You heard me Granger, I’m going to give you a makeover that will make every man want you,and make Weasley die of regret. You will be simply irresistible.” Now Complete!
Completed
- 137K 84
” do you have me under a curse, diggory? ” ” no, what makes you say that? ” ” i feel completely under your control, and i can’t stop it. ” ~ The younger sister of Cedric Diggory, Arden, is a Slytherin who doesn’t fit in. Draco Malfoy, a wealthy Slytherin bully. The two come together, and Arden…
Completed
- 61.5K 57Completed Mature
- 14.7K 100
She was the last of her line, according to her father. A natural parseltongue, and a direct descendant of Salazar Slytherin. Gaunt. The long lost Slytherin heir. The long lost phantom queen. She was bred by her father to be determined, cunning, ruthless and, to launch the arrow true to its aim. She was bred to resto…
Completed
- 4.2K 53
& when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite. – – IF YOU LIKE TOXIC, SPICY BUT A LIL BIT OF SOFT DRACO, THIS IS FOR YOU. Chapter titles and theme based on Taylor Swift’s song- Cardigan. HP- Half Blood Prince- 6th year. Follows story, but might be some hicc…
Completed
Read Also: Why Does Voldemort Look Like That
Classic Draco Malfoy Quotes
These are the best of the best! The most iconic, renowned, and overused Draco Malfoy lines from the films that have most likely made their way to every meme, GIF, and TikTok sound across the web. Heres our list of classic Draco Malfoy quotes:
And my names Malfoy. Draco Malfoy.Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Its true then, what theyre saying on the train. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts.Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Honestly, Goyle, if you were any slower, youd be going backwards.Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Scared, Potter?Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Oh yeah, terribly funny. Really witty. God this place has gone to the dogs. Wait until my father hears that Dumbledores got this oaf teaching classes.Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Its killed me! Its killed me!Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Nice face, Potter!Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
The Best Draco Malfoy Quotes From The Harry Potter World: 115+ Classic Draco Lines
*FYI – this post may affiliate links, which means we earn a commission if you purchase from them. Also, as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. For the full scoop on what this means, feel free to check out our Privacy Policy and Disclosure.
- Pin
Ah, Draco Malfoy the worlds most iconic literary and cinematic baddie who was redeemed in the end .
In honour of DracoTok sweeping the world and reigniting our unabashed love for Harry Potter , weve assembled a massive list of the best Draco Malfoy quotes and sayings for your delight!
Weve researched high and low for all his best, most hilarious, and brutal lines, so that you can reenact ALL your fave scenes with your friends via Zoom! Bonus points if you grab some of his famous signature scent too or deck yourself out in epic Draco merch.
For purposes of this article, all quotes are taken from the eight films .
Lets get to it, shall we?
Recommended Reading: Who Is My Harry Potter Boyfriend